angry moray eel.

I know this probably aint very interesting but here i go all the same.I have a fast hungry quick growing moray eel as one of the displays in my shop.Those that know me know what i mean.I like to show off some of our exhibits to our customers by feeding them in public .I've been hand feeding my moray for 3 weeks now and i have it almost hand tame.Its got huge sharp teeth and looks pretty ferocious so this took some b**ls let me tell you.By the way a bite from a moray can do the same kinda damage a bite from a komodo dragon can do on a smaller scale but real enough none the less.The teeth can ingect bacteria into the wound and that aint good.
Today i strolled in late as usual.Cocky as always you know me.There was a crowd gathered around the moray tank oogling in amazement at the size of the thing.As soon as you knock on the glass a hungry head always appears its pure entertainment i love it really i do.Well today nobody told me the eel wasnt fed and by the way i should have known this by the way it was seeking food almost pushing the top off the tank.A blind man coulda figured that one out.
Anyway i saw my chance to impress a few of the more tastier ladies present and i took it hook line and sinker....by the way i'm a challenge freak.After braggin a bit i lifted the lid on the tank and to everyones horror and amazement i put my hand in side....the girls loved it....don't do it ...don't do they called out.I was so confident i turned around with my typical smug face which as some of you may already know has become my trademark hence ive been called the d******d smart a**e owner by some of our customers on boards.ie(see i do check up on you).
To cut a short story shorter my almost tame eel grabbed my little finger and sank her teeth right to the bone she struck like lightening.Jesus h christ the pain was excruciating (i hope your reading this you smarty person Alan Quinn you would have wet yourself:)))....how can i make you understand this kinda pain.Ive been bitten by almost every living animal that passes through my doors but that was the worst.Because i'm such a man i didn't even flinch as my nerve endings frizzeled and my medula oblongata expanded to the size of a melon.I took my hand out really casual like and clenched my fist it was even throbbingly sorer out of the salt water.I acted almost as good as any one outta fair shitty which by the way was c**p that was a s**g on rte in case you hadn't noticed. I nearly pulled it off too though i was afraid to look at my little finger in case it was stumpafied.So i casually turned around and smiled at the onlookers and said \"isn't she gorgeous shes hand tame you know....I'll be back in a moment and i'll show you.\"With that i ran into me office and swore like a knacker granny and bloody typical Aquatic Village the home of quality fish at very resonable prices... no bloody plasters though.In desperation i sucked a mouthful of blood out of the gash on me poor didget and spat it in the sink.And do you know what the funny thing was????at that moment i realised the fright Steve Irwin must got when he was spiked....I dont mean this in a bad way cause Steve was a legend.I mean animals are so amazing.....you cannot possibly understand what they are thinking...i always advise my customers of this when they are buying snakes and the like.Respect thats the keyword.My moray can grow over 3 metres long and way a couple of hundred pounds from tomorow onwards i'm going to call her Miss moray and give her the respect she deserves.

Ps me fingers throbbing like a babbons arse after a vin da loo!!!!
Thanks for reading.
Ian Patrick Compton

Ian I understand your in pain but keep the language to a minimum please ADMIN EDITED <br><br>Post edited by: Red Empress, at: 2007/08/12 01:12

very funnilly written story ian, the finger will be fine in a day or so. whats a vin da loo.

a very very very hot arse scorching curry rated xxxx not for wimps!
thanks for replying hoped it would be entertaing it was funny sore but funny!
Ian

right, i wont be having one of those so. keep the funny storys coming.

my apoliges i get carried away its all in the name of humour!Sorry i'm just scum!

Damn and I was going to call out today, I would have paid to see your face

Get your own back on the moray and feed him/her a vin da loo. Seriously though it is a stunning fish, what size will it get to in a tank on a diet of fingers?

Hi Ian.
You are a fewking towrag. Mind your language.

I bet the ladies were really impressed. How many phone numbers did you get.Bet you will find it hard to dial them.


Whats Ian Cromptons favourite biscuit?
Cadburys chocolate fingers.

What has 9 fingers, a filthy tongue and cries like a bitch?
Ian Crompton

Why was Ian so bad at maths in school?
Because he could only count up to nine.

Hey Ian. You should have given the Eel some KFC.
Its finger licken good.


I would have paid to see you get bitten.
Knowing your love of money you will probably do it as a party trick and charge us all in.

I hope to make the trip up tomorrow.Cant wait to shake hands with you.
Ps is the sex life on hold while it heals. <br><br>Post edited by: Anthony, at: 2007/08/12 02:04

most excellent of replies but the names compton not crompton and the fingers eeling !

Sorry mate.
Its a bit late and I forgot to take my medicine.
At least if you sue me I can say I was talking about someone else.

ps.
Its going to be hard carrying out one of mans favourite hobbies.
Picking your nose while driving...

ha ha stamp collection...was just trying to entertain the others by showing how into what i do for a living i am. I'm a mad fish fanatic the eels just part of my fascination with fish....loved your nine finger jokes pure class mate look forward to your visit meet me eel... by the way i got a 3/4 inch gash on me pinky!!

nine fingers no problem !

thats a gas story ian. hope u dont plan on taming a lionfish!

Ian don't know if you have seen this or not.

Your not on your own. ( I do have a sick sence of humour really ) Hope you heal up soon.

www.irishfishkeepers.com/cms/index.php?o...d=10652&catid=61

I live on the edge myself Ian.
I use to feed Discus from my hand. Scary or what.

I feel your pain Ian, but glad to hear the story all the same

I had my eye on a cute little snowflake Moray that I spotted in a shop in Waterford. When I read that they can grow to that length I had a few day-mares about the thing crawling up the stairs at night searching for food. I'll still be afraid to peep a toe out under the duvet for a while!

You big wussy!
Thats nothing.
My Aulonocara Red have taken to plucking the hairs on my arm when I'm working in the tank.
Now thats pain!

I pull my nose hair out. My record is twelve in one go.

Anthony wrote:

I pull my nose hair out. My record is twelve in one go.

And the mandatory sneezing fit?!

Well past the sneezing fit..WOOSSSSSS:laugh:

Oh Jeez you guys.