people lurking in the shadows

If I can help someone I will. But as I say i haven't got experience in fish keeping. Most of the posts here are questions but I have commented on other posts eg pictures and asked questions. But there is always a nervousness about posting on my part because someone might take you down a peg or two for saying the wrong thing. I can imagine more people on the site would be of the same thinking.

Who is that that may be lurking in the shadows? and why are they lurking?

A forum is a 'forum'.....a common platform for like-minded to get together.

A forum is not necessarily a place to come to learn via a mentor/muse situation.

A forum is a voice for all to express opinions and words on whatever level they feel comfortable....irrespective of skill, experience, age, gender, number of tanks, types of fish kept, or size of allowable budgets.

A forum need not be the voice for JUST those who want to give advice, nor should it be JUST for those who seek advice or have the biggest tanks etc.

There is also more to learn from forum than just the basic 'overt' facts:

people new to the hobby may see how other address queries, and what type of questions are asked by those with experience in ascertaining topics of help;

those who have years of experience and skill can also learn about new issues that may crop-up, or if there is a growing 'myth' (for want of a better word) creeping into the hobby, or even to see that some time-honoured methods don't seem to be driving the message home.

Being stamped upon.....this is a fine line (as discussed in a recent topic started by Derek). There is a difference between expressing a difference of opinion or correcting someone and simply stamping on someone.
The motto being challenge the idea and not the person.


If someone is being simply bullied (and not necessarily their ideas) then I am sure that someone will act to stop such a trampling.
Of course, some people have been known to enter forums as trolls with the intent to cause chaos.....unfortunately for them, in their sad little world, sites like this have real people who have lives that stand above such behaviour. I have no issues with forum trolls.....they disappear pretty soon.

As for college or work......it doesn't wash with me to be quite honest. If I can find at some time sometimes, then maybe anyone can.

Humour and good sense of relaxed fun and chit-chat is something that anyone can be involved with.....you don't need to be in this for 40 odd years to have a bit of a chit-chat.

ian
(someone who is ready to enrol for zimmer-frame keep-fit classes....for those who don't know me ).

Some very nice points brought up by John H and Ian; I agree that a forum serves a lot of purpose indeed and everyone has their own favourite aspect. Most posts and replies are usually very educational or friendly. However as found in any public domain; there will always be some 'creeps' or 'anti-social' people around. Hopefully they dont spoil it for the many others who are thoroughly enjoying this forum. Just my 2 cents.

Great points bye all.


Good to see a constructive talk people expressing opinions


but it must be said no body not post coz you feel you ll be shot down


theres a good group of people here with the odd exception [spidermonkey ] only joking mate

every one i know here will help some one no end

prime example goldenguns offering to give some one a hand digging foundations for a fish house

need i say more when we have people like that on board



craig

fishmad1234 wrote:

Great points bye all.


Good to see a constructive talk people expressing opinions


but it must be said no body not post coz you feel you ll be shot down


theres a good group of people here with the odd exception [spidermonkey ] only joking mate

every one i know here will help some one no end

prime example goldenguns offering to give some one a hand digging foundations for a fish house


need i say more when we have people like that on board



craig

Bahahahahaha!!!! I owe you one

You two crack me up, nice seeing you again today Mark.

Kev.

Cheers kev I enjoyed our little chat
How are those shrimps getting on, it looked like you got some really nice ones..


Mark

Where did creeps and anti-social people idea come into this topic initially it was all about new people not posting.
I've never witnessed something like bullying, i've been told to clean my glass but that's the closest i could get(just in case i didn't take offense so no confusion).

If you go to the pub not everybody really joins in the conversation some people tend to constantly lead the way things go.

Its an alpha and beta thing, alpha's like to be heard and beta prefer to follow, we are more animal than human.

This thread is pretty dominated by people within an easy walk of a well known 24hrs Tesco and Manley chinese take away
But I gather than non of us were the winners of the saturday Lottery ticket sold in the adjacent newsagent.

Back on topic.....when it comes to the nasty people of this world: they reside and cause chaos for but a short-time only, but decent folk will always win over in the long run.

Fish-keeping is very good for having long-staying decent folk in its midsts, and many of the new-comers who I have met have been thoroughly decent ladies and gents.

Thumbs-up for fish-keeping, and for fish-keeping forums.

ian

Indeed; how did the 'creeps' and 'anti-social people' term came up; we were just discussing why some new people dont like posting...wait whats this- alpha ; beta; comparison between human and animals thingy coming up?

andrewo wrote:

Indeed; how did the 'creeps' and 'anti-social people' term came up; we were just discussing why some new people dont like posting...wait whats this- alpha ; beta; comparison between human and animals thingy coming up?

There was a reference in an early post indicating that some people might not post anything for fear of being stamped upon (or words to that effect).
That is always a realistic concern....and we have seen trollism and bullying in some places (not just talking about this forum btw).

Alpha vs Betta......Alpha are a bit loud mouthed, and the betta use sneeky tactics to get their needs.
Trust neither of them I say.

John H come lock this topic up its going nowhere... Oops I mean Valerie

Its not a comparison the alpha's and beta's still exist in humans and that we have leaders i.e(alpha) and we have followers i.e(beta).
I'll admit probably went a bit deep but in amongst your friends are you the alpha?

Probably a question that most people don't want to be asked

The only Alphas or Betas I like to see are in Cars.

Kev.

SpiderMonkey wrote:

John H come lock this topic up its going nowhere... Oops I mean Valerie

LOL SpiderMonkey !

I don't think we need to lock this thread at all (well, I will if people start attacking each other personally but I am sure that y'all won't ... )

The forum is a place where people can indeed ask and answer questions, help each other and also discuss fish keeping things. As JohnH mentioned earlier in this topic : “a forum is as good as its members make it”.

It would be great that more of the users who read the posts every day do participate more , initiate fish-keeping discussions (without having necessarily a question or an answer) rather than just reading posts for a few minutes here and there. It's your hobby, and this is the place to discuss it. Relying on others to animate the conversations, not giving/investing a little more time to input something isn't really fair on others.

Nevertheless, as in any gathering of people, you have the people who like to talk and the ones who like to listen, either because of their shyer personality or that is the way they are. We cannot and do not want to force them to post. If they want to participate, we will welcome them.

I however sincerely hope that our more reserved members are not refraining from posting because they are afraid to be taken down “a peg or two”. This is not the aim of the game nor the tone of this forum. Discussions must be made of constructive criticism and the most important adage on this forum is “challenge the post but not the poster”. The “authorities” on this forum are keeping an eye out and will intervene shall it not be the case (but you’re all very good guys and gals these days ! ).

Fish keeping is funny-peculiar (can be funny ha-ha too though) … you have to keep in mind that what works for some doesn’t work for others be it about personal preferences or fish-keeping rules. If someone remarks on something, it’s not to decree that they are right, it’s because it is what works for them or what they have learned and are eager to share it.

So, make a bit of time, share your knowledge, keep the discussions going … and make the forum an enjoyable place … we’ll live happily everafter !

Valerie

ive been lurking around here for a while but with this topic decided to re register
firstly i do think that people may not be bothered posting for fear of being shot down as it has happened and still does .personly i do know of a number of people who did post alot but now dont because of fighting that has happened on here.keyboards can be a dangerous waepon
secondly what about all the other stuff that has gone on over the years were people from this forum and others have all said was a great idea but then decided washing there hair was more important i.e the latest interclub show for example was a great idea with a lot of sterling work done by members of the lfks and the itfs ,for only a handful of people to bother turning up.the itfs held a show [remember this is your club aswell]and over 180 were benched by 18 people .its always going to be the same people who will put themselves forward and there will always be LURKERS
JOHN

Well welcome back john happy this thread is bringing people back or getting rid of fear if being shot down every one thats on here wants to help



after all thats what were here for



craig

Hmmm, think i've been mostly lurking on here for almost 3 years, starting to feel guilty about it now LOL

Another 3yr lurker here, but I have an excuse as I only got my tank 3 days ago.

Im sure my lurking days are over as these next few months will be a new experience for me.

Your right it will be you ll get expert help and advice off people



Great to see people getting involved already since this thread



fair play lads



craig

Good to see some new names here.

Great to see John G back on-line....and I will say that john g has been organising and supporting events in the fish-keeping world for the past good few years.

On the back of that, it is worthwhile mentioning that whilst some may be 'lurking' on the forum, they may also be deeply involved in champion work off-forum in the fish-keeping world by virtue of the ITFS society (and other societies) itself.

ian

On the back of that, it is worthwhile mentioning that whilst some may be 'lurking' on the forum, they may also be deeply involved in champion work off-forum in the fish-keeping world by virtue of the ITFS society (and other societies) itself.

ian[/quote]
thanks ian thats what i was trying to say but my use of english wouldnt be half as elegant as yours (
john

john wrote:

On the back of that, it is worthwhile mentioning that whilst some may be 'lurking' on the forum, they may also be deeply involved in champion work off-forum in the fish-keeping world by virtue of the ITFS society (and other societies) itself.

ian

thanks ian thats what i was trying to say but my use of english wouldnt be half as elegant as yours (
john[/quote]

It is when we look at the combined joining-in between the forum and the real-life that there are some non-surprises and some surprises crop up.

Some people who have plenty to say on the forum also say plenty in real events;
some people who have limited input on the forum play massive roles in real events;
plus the other combinations.

In some cases it depends upon where people are more comfortable.
I, for one, am much more confident and comfortable to stand up and talk in-person in public....if I say it, I say and have to deal with it on the spot.
Not everyone is comfortable with such a position: it is finding the situation in which people are more comfortable that is important.

The HSI, for example, try to do events to get people to contribute no matter what their experience or levels of shyness.
As with John G's experiences, there is generally only a few reliable people who turn-up.
But at our last event we did something different in giving a full platform for youngsters, or anyone who wanted it, to give a full public talk (10 back-to-back talks !!).........I was blown away by the quality and energy that some young teenagers and newcomers to speaking jumped at the chance and gave a full professional talk.

Funnily enough, some of the people who kept calling for 'more' on forums did not even bother turning up.

In the fish-keeping fraternity, there is a vibrant society scene that is often not seen within the forum.
My OH, Justine, won't venture to any forum....but she is really into the vibrant society meetings. So, maybe she could be called 'lurking' wrt forums, but not wrt fish-keeping society events.

ian